I’ve always felt inspired by stories of random acts of kindness. The idea of someone going out of their way to make a stranger’s day a bit brighter always leaves me with a warm feeling. So setting myself a goal to perform 40 random acts of kindness had to make the list.
I like to think that I’m a relatively kind individual but actually it is amazing how difficult it can be sometimes to actively find those opportunities. I set out thinking that this one would be a doddle – less than one act of kindness a week should be easy – however 2 months in and I had managed a measly 2 random acts. Nobody seemed to want my help!
I offered to help someone carry their bags – they said no. I thought I could offer my seat on the train to someone but there were plenty of seats available. I hadn’t found any lost people needing directions, or met a little old lady that needed something off the top shelf, or had an unexpired parking ticket to give someone.
I looked on a couple of websites for ideas and they suggested some pretty unhelpful things like:
- “Buy stuff for people” – well that would get expensive fast
- “Leave motivational notes for strangers” – maybe not, we are British after all!
- “Smile at strangers” – really? Don’t we do that anyway? I do!
I realised I was going to have to work hard at this one. I started taking pains to observe everyone around me, to actively identify opportunities. Slowly but surely, the opportunities started to present themselves. If someone was looking around in a confused manner, I’d ask them if they needed help. I spotted an open gate about to blow into a parked car and secured it. I comforted a lost kid and helped him find his nan. I helped a family whose kid had fallen into nettles to find dock leaves and help calm the stinging until they could get her home.
I took the time to chat to the homeless people on the street, and find out their story. Often they told me that they just wanted advice, or someone to talk to, not just money.
In winter, I bought a guy hat and gloves and some thermal underclothes. I found a charity that was collecting old coats for the homeless and donated all my old ones. I put together a little “hygiene pack” for a girl consisting of toothbrush/toothpaste, cleansing wipes, sanitary products, deodorant and dry shampoo and sneaked it next to her sleeping bag.
I soon found other little ways to show kindness. I stopped a lady in the street to compliment her gorgeous dress. I thanked a man who was working hard to keep our riverside clean and tidy. I mowed my neighbour’s garden when I noticed she was away and the house looked unoccupied.
I bought gluten free goodies for a couple of my friends that are intolerant, as a little treat. I cleared a load of undergrowth from a shared common area in my neighbourhood. I gave a hair bobble to a girl at a dance weekend, when hers broke.
Not everything cost money, although a few of the random acts did – out of the 40 random acts of kindness, 13 incurred a cost. But not that much, a couple of quid here and there which is negligible to me but can have a big impact on someone else.
There are three incidents in particular that really stood out to me.
1: Help carry someone’s shopping
The first was an old lady who was collecting her shopping from M&S. They have a service where you can leave your groceries to collect later – handy if you want to look around town for a bit. You ring a bell at their back door and they bring the bags out to you. I saw the lady trying to pick up several bags and immediately went over to offer to help. She told me she was going to catch her bus home, so I picked up her bags and walked her to the bus station.
As we walked, she told me that she had recently injured her shoulder falling down the stairs, likely from a mild epileptic seizure. She was completely overwhelmed by a simple offer to carry her bags a couple of hundred yards. She said nobody had ever offered to help before, so she always struggled on by herself. I waited with her for the bus and put the bags inside for her, and sent her on her way with a massive smile on her face.
Cost – £0.00
2: Pay for someone’s coffee
The second was in the queue at Costa. I spotted the lady behind me sorting out the coins in her purse to pay for her coffee, and as I ordered my drink and sandwich, I also told the cashier to pay for her drink too.
The lady was completely taken aback. She tried to give me the cash but I explained it was my treat, and she found it quite difficult to fathom that a complete stranger would want to buy her coffee! She apologised that she was about to catch a bus so couldn’t stay, but I assured her it was a simple treat. Slightly stunned, she took her coffee and left in a daze.
The cashier was delighted. She was so touched by the gesture that she tried to give me a free Millionaire’s Shortbread to thank me for my act of kindness! I then proceeded to give this to another customer who was sat feeding her baby in the corner.
As I left, I watched this ripple of happiness spread throughout the coffee shop. The cashier was telling all the customers what she had seen. Other customers were joining in. The lady I gave the shortbread to started talking to another customer, showing them her unexpected treat.
Suddenly everyone was smiling and chatting even though they were complete strangers!
Cost – £2.00
3: Help someone who is short of cash at the till
The third was on a road trip to Snowdonia with a friend. We stopped for some food and in the queue for Burger King, the chap next to us realised that he was about 30p short for his chilli cheese bites. He was getting quite flustered as it was a long way back to the car where his wallet was, and he didn’t quite have enough change in his pocket. They only cost about £2.20 so I reached over and tapped my card on the contactless screen for him.
The chap was completely blown away! He tried to give me the cash but I told him it was a treat. He told us how he was taking his son on a trip, and how they don’t get to spend much time together, and just kept repeating how nobody had ever offered to help him like this before. I wished him and his son a good journey and went to eat my dinner.
On our way to the table, my friend Sandy picked up a handful of napkins and we joked that we always pick up loads of tissues and never use them. 5 minutes later, another customer who had got sauce all over his hands and face came to ask us if we knew where the tissues were. Sandy gave him the big wodge of napkins, and I swear he was as overwhelmed as the first guy!
Just as we were about to leave, the first guy came back, waving a £5 note and again trying to pay us back. He was so grateful as we waved the money away, and nonplussed how strangers were happy to spot him a couple of quid. A bit later, the napkin guy came and again spent ages thanking us and telling us how generous we were!
Cost: £2.20 (me) and £0.00 (Sandy)
Honestly, it felt a little bit like that scene in Coming to America – you know, where people are falling over themselves to thank Prince Akeem – but this was over £2 and some tissues!
It just goes to show that the tiniest gesture, that takes little effort or regard, can actually have a huge impact on the recipient.
You don’t even need their thanks – just the knowledge that you have made their lives a little bit better can be a great feeling. I particularly liked the fact that everyone I helped opened up a little and shared some of their story with me. Especially in the South of England, people can appear distant or cold – shut off from the rest of the world. By offering something of yourself, it is surprising how much you get back in return.
I would really advise that you give it a go. It is addictive, the feeling you get when you do something nice for someone.
For inspiration:
40 things... 
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